


Things left unsaid

by mrloveache



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: A LOT of Angst, M/M, i guess this is Perianth & Beloved's "first i love you", it hurt to write this, it'll hurt more if no one likes/reads it ahaha, she wanted a "first I love you" so, this was written for a friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-28 16:47:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19816408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrloveache/pseuds/mrloveache
Summary: Those three horrible words that wrapped around Peri’s neck like a noose, stifling him…He could never bring himself to say them out loud to Beloved, and he doubted there would ever come a time when he would.-----Perianth struggles to express his feelings for Beloved, until...!





	1. Accident

**Author's Note:**

> Another story featuring my dorks, Perianth & Beloved. 
> 
> This was actually a request from my good friend, so I tried to indulge her as much as I could.  
> I'm not sure if I managed to deliver, but I'm not that frustrated with what I wrote (for once ahaha).
> 
> I hope you enjoy it!

It happened again.

But this time, there was no way he would be able to hide it.

If it was a few bruises on his face or a couple scratches on his body, the matter could be brushed off.

But this time…

There was too much blood to ignore. Too many broken limbs, too much missing flesh.

To say it happened so fast would be a cliché, but it would also be a lie.

Because it didn’t feel like it happened fast at all. 

Every single moment of panic had played out in slow motion.

The sounds, amplified.

The pain, doubled.

The lights, blinding. 

The smells, suffocating.

It might have only taken a few seconds in reality, yet it felt like a reel of film that would never end, no matter how much you yanked it out. 

“Mnn… Fuck…” 

The smell of gasoline and burning rubber was the first thing to hit Peri when he regained consciousness. 

The scent filled his nostrils so deeply that it blocked his nasal passages, leaving no room for air to flow through. 

A series of laborious coughs issued from his mouth, making him gasp for breath. 

Oxygen… He needed oxygen… 

Sucking in a large mouthful of air made Peri cough and splutter, the relief he experienced lasting for a few seconds before it was snatched away.

His body spasmed violently, making him curl his toes inside his heavy leather docs. It felt like his entire body had been continuously run over by a roadroller, his bones aching furiously. Scorching heat gushed from him in agonized waves, making him flinch at the mere thought of being touched.

Glass was sticking into his bare arms and legs so it was almost impossible for him to move without wincing and sucking in breath through his blood-stained teeth.

Peri attempted to open his eyelids just a crack, only to have them fall shut involuntarily. They were burning so intensely, almost like someone had rubbed a handful of salt into them. 

The wet lashes were stuck together with a foul mixture of blood and sweat, and it caused Peri so much discomfort. Yet there was no way he could reach up to rub at his eyes without experiencing some sort of soul-crushing pain.

An insistent, deafening ring echoed in both his ears, which made it hard for him to register any other sounds around him. He could just barely hear cars driving past in the distance.

The revolting, coppery taste of blood coated his entire mouth, and it pissed him off because he needed a bottle of Listerine right now. He had to wash the taste out before he gagged.

Where was he?

How did this happen again?

From what he could tell, he was on some sort of road or highway, given the sounds and smells.

Peri would have to figure out the finer details later. 

Right now he had to focus on opening his damned eyes.

Clenching his hand into a fist, he ground it down into the rough ground and bit down on his lip till he drew blood. 

An agonized groan escaped his lips, causing him to cringe. Since when had he made such ungodly sounds before?

Peri tried again, slowly dragging his hand toward his face.

In one vicious, excruciating motion, he’d wiped out as much sweat and blood from his lashes as he could.

Inch by inch, his eyelids peeled back groggily, dragging his lashes away from his wet cheeks.

His pupils reflexively constricted with pain in the glaring light and he almost shut them again.

But just almost. 

“Jesus Christ…” 

His vision started out unfocused and slowly sharpened the more he blinked and looked around. 

Peri could now see the scene around him, wishing silently that he’d kept his eyes closed. 

To one side, his motorcycle was on fire, lying in a crushed heap. Flames rose from the vehicle and swayed dangerously in the cold night wind. It was completely totaled, past the point of being salvaged.

An enormous cargo truck was parked on the other side of the road. 

The driver leaning against the side with his head in his hands. 

Was this the motherfucker he had crashed into? 

Two cars were parked in a neat line next to the truck. The passengers had stopped to investigate the scene, probably after they witnessed a pink-haired man flying through the air. 

A young woman was walking towards Peri now, followed by two men. 

He groaned in annoyance, not wanting to interact with anyone at the moment. If they were going to offer him help, they would be sorely disappointed because there was no way in hell he would accept. 

Something vibrated in his back pocket, the faint notes of a ringtone barely audible over the chaos. 

Good. 

A distraction.

It had come at the perfect time. 

Peri channeled all his strength into getting up. He pressed the palms of his bleeding hands into the asphalt and heaved his aching body up. It wasn’t possible for him to be able to stand yet, so he settled on sitting in a sidesaddle position, dragging his bloodied legs across the ground.

It would be a miracle if he could walk again after this.

Peri pulled his phone roughly out of his back pocket, his heart sinking when he read the caller ID.

Beloved.

This was the worst time he could have picked to call.

One wrong move, one misplaced word, and he would be done for. 

Peri glared up at the approaching group, his brows knit deeply, “Don’t say a word. Don’t even breathe until I get off the phone. Do you understand?”

They looked taken aback, but nodded nonetheless. They clearly had not expected an injured man to be this feisty and ferocious after such a severe accident. 

Taking a deep breath, Peri cleared his throat several times and tested his voice, then crossed himself before picking up.


	2. Of all the idiotic things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why the hell did you call an ambulance?” Peri growled, struggling to his feet. “Of all the idiotic things to do… Why did you have to call an ambulance?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 ready!
> 
> I think I have a fever... I'm not feeling too well ;-;  
> I keep sneezing... Ugh, I just want to write. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

“Perianth?” Beloved’s deep, velvety voice spoke on the other end.

His words were so laced with sleep, so intoxicating, it emptied a metaphorical bucket of ice water over Peri. From the sound of it, he had obviously just woken up.

It made Peri wonder…

How did Beloved manage to sound so enchanting when he was half asleep…?

And was calling Peri really the first thing that came to his mind when he awoke?

Peri licked his cracked and bleeding lips. “Here.”

“Is everything alright?” Beloved questioned, pausing to yawn. “It’s late… And you’re still not home. Are you-“

“I’m fine,” Peri hurriedly interrupted. The more he was questioned, the closer he would get to losing his temper and saying something he shouldn't.

He glanced at his wristwatch, hoping to discern the time, but the surface had cracked from the impact, rendering the watch unusable. “I’m on my way.”

“Are you really well?” Beloved asked again. It was obvious he wasn’t buying it.

The worry in his voice was so familiar to Peri, so painful, so nostalgic.

That worry didn’t belong in his voice.

Peri wanted to snap at Beloved to not use that tone with him, because he had no right to.

But he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Why should he hurt Beloved’s feelings when it wasn’t his fault that Peri was feeling this way?

“Yes, I’ll be home soon,” Peri tersely told him instead.

Which wasn’t exactly a lie. Peri did intend to pick himself up, hail a cab, and get himself home before the older man blew his top. There was no other plan of action he could take anyways.

Seeking medical care was so out of the question, it was almost laughable.

Peri had never been to a hospital before in his life, since he had always either relied on Deokhwa to treat him or on his own body to heal itself.

“Please don’t be late.” Beloved replied uncertainly. “I love you.”

Peri sighed internally and screwed his eyes shut. Why did Beloved have to do this to him right now?

Those three horrible words that wrapped around Peri’s neck like a noose, stifling him…

He could never bring himself to say them out loud to Beloved, and he doubted there would ever come a time when he would.

“Perianth…?”

“Mnn.” Peri replied, terminating the call before Beloved could say anymore.

His heart ached terribly, punishing him once again for never returning those devastating three words whenever Beloved spoke them so sincerely.

Many times, Peri had come so close to saying “you really shouldn’t” but he always stopped himself.

He turned his attention to his other problem, the woman and her 2 companions who were waiting for him expectantly.

Peri stared at each person in turn without blinking, in hopes of unnerving them.

It appeared to work, because they all took a tentative step back and looked at each other from the corner of their eyes.

“Can I help you?” Peri asked exasperatedly, rolling his eyes out of habit.

“I think it’s us who can help you buddy.” one of the men chuckled.

Under normal circumstances, any regular person would have felt relieved and gladly accepted the aid offered to them. In fact, it was expected from any regular person to do just that, because doing anything else was not exactly an option.

But Peri wasn’t just any regular old person.

For mortals to actually be offering their assistance… How amusing.

Before the woman could open her mouth to speak, Peri held up a silencing hand.

“Don’t make me laugh,” he grunted. “I don’t need your help.”

“Well, sucks to hear but… We already called an ambulance,” the woman informed him.

“You what?” Peri questioned incredulously.

“They’re 5 minutes away from arriving,” she remarked, checking the time on her phone.

“Why the hell did you call an ambulance?” Peri growled, struggling to his feet. He swayed precariously on the spot, shifting his weight from one leg to the other as he made his way towards the group. “Of all the idiotic things to do… Why did you have to call an ambulance?!”

The 3 exchanged strange looks with one another, silently agreeing that this pink haired man was not very stable at the moment.

“Clearly you haven’t seen the state you’re in.” the other man answered.

But Peri didn’t have to see anything to know that he really was in too deep this time. He could sense that his arm was sprained, maybe even broken and his legs were weak from the way they were trembling.

If he was to be honest, it almost felt like there was a huge chunk missing from his hip.

His clothes were ripped, his arms and legs covered in broken shards of glass, gashes, bruises…

He could feel blood seeping from a wound on his forehead, the crimson red liquid splattering down onto his once-white shirt.

Shower… That was the first thing he thought of after surveying himself.

Peri had to leave before the ambulance arrived. Going to the hospital was the last thing he could do right now, because the minute he was rushed through those doors, Beloved would be following close behind.

He gathered the blood laced mucus forming in his mouth and spat it out onto the road before swiping a hand across his mouth in disgust.

Then, he turned around with difficulty and began limping away, dragging his Docs behind him.

Every step he took felt like a knife stabbing his knees, like his bones were cracking open bit by bit.

He was curious to find out how long he could last before he blacked out.

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going?” the woman called out loud, moving towards him.

“Leave me the fuck alone!” Peri shouted back angrily. “I never asked you to help, so-“

Before he could finish, Peri gripped his head, feeling a dizzy spell coming.

He turned around to continue shouting, but instead, he rocked forward and backward uncontrollably like a drunk person.

There was an unbearable pain rising in his chest, and when he hunched over, it only intensified.

“Gah…!”

The pain had started out dull moments ago, but now it was agonizing and it was restricting his ability to draw breath without flinching.

His ribs…

How had he not felt it before, the needle-like sensation pricking into his chest and the feeling of dislocation.

Now that his ribs were broken, would his heart fall down and disappear into the labyrinth of his body?

When Peri’s mouth flew open involuntarily, blood sprayed out into a magnificent array on the ground in front of him. The shock forced him onto his bruised knees.

“Ugh…”

It was so cold that it made Peri crave the feeling of warm arms wrapping around his body, just like they always had when he needed them…

A violent shiver shot up the column of his spine, jolting every single cell in his body awake, despite the fact that his body was ablaze with fever.

Soon enough, Peri’s body betrayed him and he crashed down onto the asphalt, losing consciousness for the second time that night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The voice on the other end sounded calm and composed, contrasting ironically with Beloved’s turbulent emotions.
> 
> It almost felt like he was having a phone conversation with Death in disguise, the promise of impending doom looming above his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was too excited for this chapter to wait any longer, so here it is!
> 
> I don't even know if it's as good as I think, but...  
> I hope you enjoy either ways!

Beloved was sitting up, dazed and confused. Sheets and covers spilled over the edge of the bed onto the cold wooden floor. 

The space next to him was cold and empty, the pillow still plump and undisturbed. The person who had promised to be there and fill that spot had still not arrived.

The feeling of his lungs screaming for hydration was what had woken him up. 

It was only when he reached for the glass of water on the bedside table that he realized someone was calling him.

Beloved’s phone had started ringing at around 3 in the morning, the little device vibrating with impatient urgency. 

Thankfully, he had caught the phone seconds before it crashed to the ground. 

His bleary eyes began to focus on the screen, trying to distinguish the caller, but there was no ID. 

“Have I reached Mr. Beloved Wen?”

The voice on the other end sounded calm and composed, contrasting ironically with Beloved’s turbulent emotions.

It almost felt like he was having a phone conversation with Death in disguise, the promise of impending doom looming above his head.

News that arrived at such unholy hours could never possibly be good. They never were in the movies, at least… 

Beloved had broken into a cold sweat the minute he picked up the call. 

He didn’t realize how badly his hands were shaking until he felt his phone rattling against his ear. 

“Yes… This is Beloved,” He replied nervously. His hand reached up to wind a lock of ebony hair around his finger in an attempt to calm himself.

He clenched his teeth, bracing himself for whatever he was about to hear, stripping himself of any hope that the call would be harmless. 

“Sir, we just admitted Mr. Perianth Fleuret into the emergency ward and we need…” the woman began to explain, but Beloved didn’t hear the rest.

The world seemed to slow down to a halt, collect all the dreadful feelings it could carry, and send them raining down on Beloved’s head like a torrential downpour.

The blood in his veins had frozen into a scarlet ice river, his heart quieting down into a dormant state.

How often had Beloved dreaded scenarios in which he would receive distressing news about Peri’s wellbeing…? 

He thought he had imagined these scenarios enough times to organize his reactions accordingly. However, now that he was actually faced with the reality of it, his senses and his logic failed him miserably. 

“I’ll be right there,” he promised, his voice cracking slightly. “Please… Take care of him.”

Beloved didn’t waste a single moment. He quickly terminated the call, then darted to the front door, pulled on the closest coat he could find in the darkness, and slammed the apartment door behind him.

In retrospect, he cursed himself for not asking the woman who called how serious Peri’s injuries were. 

Part of him was burning with the desire to be comforted and assured that it was just a few minor scratches, nothing critical, possibly curable… 

But the other part of him was curling up into a corner, in fear of being told that the injuries were severe, maybe even fatal. 

During the drive to the hospital, he prayed out loud, even though he didn’t exactly believe in any particular deity. 

Maybe he was just trying to blindly grasp at a sliver of hope… 

Still he prayed furiously, his delicate hands gripping the steering wheel of his Maserati as if it were the last thread that connected him to the world of the living. 

He prayed for Peri to be alright, to be safe, to be _alive_. 

He prayed for himself to reach his destination quickly, without running anyone over along the way.

Over and over again, he repeated these prayers, rocking back and forth as he drove, holding a finger between his plump lips. 

Beloved hated the unconcealed desperation in his voice and the way he had reduced himself to shameful pleading.

Had he forgotten who he was, to belittle himself in front of an imaginary deity when he himself was a god? 

Who was to say this so-called deity even existed, let alone was listening to him? 

But this wasn’t the time to think about his dignity when the life of his most precious person was at stake. 

Since Peri had been taken to the emergency ward, then it was 120% serious, because never in his life had Peri even seen the inside of an ambulance before. 

Beloved’s mind wandered in and out of consciousness, evoking sorrowful images of Peri in his mind. 

Just how much pain was the love of his life in to make a fierce ache rise up in his own chest? His heart hammered against his ribs, struggling like a caged animal to break free. 

“I’ve never bothered to pray… But are you listening now?!” Beloved roared at the night sky. “I’m willing to kneel before a thousand gods, lick poison off their feet and blood off their hands… As long as he’s safe. Take my heart, tear out every single organ from my body if you wish, but please… Don’t take him away from me.”

Beloved was momentarily blinded by the tears that clouded his vision. He needed to slam down on the breaks and stop before he drove into something… But stopping was out of the question. 

If he delayed for half a second more, he would lose his mind. Beloved needed to see Peri in front of him, in the flesh, to discern the extent of the damage. 

Silently, he let the burning hot tears roll down his cheeks in a steady flow as he continued to drive, the speedometer needle smoothly moving past 120 mph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter kinda hurt to write and re-read...   
> Note: Beloved is not an atheist. He believes in a greater power, but he just thinks he's the superior one (being a dragon god & all)


	4. Collapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peri had made it halfway past the door when a helpless look crossed his face and he collapsed forward into Beloved’s arms.   
> Beloved hastened to hold Peri up, not wanting him to make contact with the floor.   
> He stared at his unconscious partner in confusion, his mind not properly registering what happened.  
> He only understood when he looked up to see the nurse holding an empty needle in her hand, wiping the sweat from her brow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay...   
> I sort of went into a food coma + watching The Untamed... 
> 
> Anyways, enjoy!  
> Warning (?) Mild violence towards the end of the chapter.

Peri awoke to the feeling of foreign hands on his body.

The sensation made him sit up in a panic, his eyes flying open. 

The sickening smell of iodoform hung thick around him, confirming his worst fear.

He had been brought to the hospital, when he specifically asked for the exact opposite. 

The room temperature was surely set to sub-zero because the shivers continued to run down his spine unceasingly. 

He wasn't dead yet, but it seemed like they brought him to the morgue from how cold it was.

3 nurses were gathered around him. One of them was carrying a formidable looking needle, while the other 2 were holding Peri down on the hospital bed. 

Their grip felt cold and repulsive on his skin, despite the fact they were giving him kind, apologetic looks. 

Out of instinct, Peri kicked the nurses’s hand, making her scream and sending the needle flying across the room. He winced at both the shrill sound and his sudden movement, but he wasn’t going to sit around and let them inject foreign substances into him. 

He’d rather be torn apart, limb by limb, if it meant he wouldn’t have strangers examining and prodding at his body.

“Get your fucking hands off of me.” He growled, shoving his elbow into the nurse’s abdomen. The strike sent her flying back into the wall, which gave Peri a chance to wrestle himself from the other nurse’s grasp. 

“Sir, please,” one of them implored, holding her hands up to signal she wasn’t out to harm him. “You must calm down and allow us to proceed. Your injuries are-”

“To hell with that!” Peri impatiently snapped. “Do I look like I give a fuck? Move, get out of my way.”

He hopped down from the bed and began to move towards the door, stumbling slightly while he dragged sheets and bandages onto the ground in his wake.

For one horrifying moment, his eyes failed him and little black spots clouded his vision, rendering him immobile for a few seconds. 

Yet he continued walking despite that, staggering with every step he took forward. 

He had almost grasped the handle when he felt the nurses’ arms latch onto his body once more.

It was starting to annoy him greatly, this whole grabbing and feeling nonsense. If the nurses were that desperate for human touch, Peri could refer them to a number of excellent hosts (all of which he had arrested over the years). 

The nurses pulled and tugged, trying as hard as they could to get him back into bed, but Peri was immovable. He could almost feel his shoulder dislocate slightly from all the pulling.

“Your hands… Remove them or I’ll rip them off your body,” He breathed. “I don’t want to hurt you, so don’t push me…” 

He felt their grip freeze and loosen ever so slightly. He could almost smell the fear emanating from them.

That was all he needed. In one rapid motion, he ripped his body free, knocking all 3 of them to the ground.

It took all his willpower to keep from screaming out at the sudden movement he made.

This time he managed to make it to the door. 

With all the strength he could muster, he yanked the handle down, letting the door slam deafeningly against the wall. 

Freedom. 

Peri was almost through the doorframe when he crashed straight into a hardened chest.

It knocked what little breath he had left right out of him.

He opened his mouth, ready to shout abuse at whoever was in his way, maybe even clobber them to death… 

However, when his eyes focused on the person in front of him, he nearly fainted. 

“Beloved…” He finally managed to say. 

Beloved stood before him in all his glory. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, his nose the color of strawberry sorbet. He smelled like sin, sweating notes of musk and amber, but also hints of panic and fear. 

It was obvious from his tousled hair and slippers that he had woken up and immediately rushed out the door, not giving anything a second thought. 

Without uttering a single word, Beloved enveloped Peri into his arms, drawing him so close to his body he nearly swallowed him whole. 

His embrace was too strong for Peri’s current fragile condition.

He needed to tell Beloved to loosen his grip, to let go of his burning body…

But the longer Peri stood there in Beloved’s warmth, the more he craved that familiar feeling.

“My starlight…” He murmured, dropping kisses all over the top of Peri’s blood-speckled hair. “I thought I’d never see you again…” 

Peri lost all bodily functions in that moment. He stood suspended in time, as if he was watching the scene unfold from afar. 

The spell broke the moment Beloved had called him “starlight”.

Beloved was the only one who called him that.

_He_ had never called him that.

When Peri regained his senses, he shoved Beloved away as roughly as he could, and growled, “Piss off.”

The wounded look in the older man’s eyes and the way his arms slumped back to his side set fire to Peri’s heart. 

“So?! Why the fuck do you care so much? I’m just one little boy!”” Peri snapped angrily. “Move, we’re going home.”

“Home?” Beloved repeated in an astounded tone. 

“Yes, home.” Peri confirmed. To prove his point, he grabbed his gun holster off the table, and turned towards the door, ready to leave.

Peri had made it halfway past the door when a helpless look crossed his face and he collapsed forward into Beloved’s arms. 

Beloved hastened to hold Peri up, not wanting him to make contact with the floor. 

He stared at his unconscious partner in confusion, his mind not properly registering what happened.

He only understood when he looked up to see the nurse holding an empty needle in her hand, wiping the sweat from her brow. 

As calmly as he could manage, Beloved carried Peri’s limp body to the hospital bed and laid him down gently beneath the sheets. 

He stooped down and brushed Peri’s bangs away from his face, then planted a kiss on each closed eyelid. 

The nurse’s grin of success quickly morphed into a terrified grimace as she found herself forced back roughly against the wall. 

Her head smashed against the plaster, sending paint chips showering to the floor.

Beloved was at her neck, breathing deeply.

His eyes were ablaze with rage and electricity, the gold burning amber, boring straight into her.

“How dare you…” He hissed venomously. “How dare you lay your hands on him…”

His jaw was clenched so tightly it made the veins in his pale neck bulge out dangerously. 

The nurse attempted to reason with Beloved, but her voice was gone, the hand around her neck crushing her windpipe with its iron grip. Tears shone in her eyes and her lower lip quivered, yet it did nothing to soften or quell Beloved’s rage. 

“Who do you think you are… To touch what does not belong to you so easily?” Beloved growled. “Would you like to try dying?”

Violent rage was pulsing through his body, racing with the blood in his veins. 

The nurse could have kneeled before him and peeled her skin from her flesh, cell by cell, still it wouldn’t have affected him in the slightest. 

Beloved’s nostrils flared as he stared deep into her eyes. A line formed between his brows as they knit together. 

The look on his face was so intimidating, so feral and beast-like… 

Only when the nurse’s eyes began to lose focus and roll back did Beloved release his grip, letting her crumple to the ground like a broken rag-doll. 

“Remove yourself from my sight.” Beloved commanded. “And don’t be foolish enough to stand before me ever again…” 

He ignored the nurse and hurriedly made his way over to the bed to check on Peri.

The younger man’s skin had paled and the redness had faded considerably. 

His breathing was still shallow, but it had steadied. 

Beloved dragged a chair to the side of the bed and settled himself on it, then leaned forward, his shoulders hunching, so he could continue to watch Peri’s sleeping face. 

The night was going to be long…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ye Beloved's possessive af & he doesn't like anyone touching Perianth... 
> 
> Where it says "He had never called him that.":  
> by "he" I mean Sanctuary.


	5. Apologetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happiness.  
> Disbelief.  
> Regret.  
> Grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder: Sanctuary is Beloved's deceased twin brother.  
> Perianth cared for Sanctuary deeply, but never loved him romantically.

Beloved didn’t sleep. 

He remained in his chair by Peri’s side, unmoving throughout the whole night. 

His shoulders were stiff and he badly needed to use the toilet, but a soft voice talking in his head prevented him from moving an inch. 

“Don’t leave him.” 

Nothing could ever make Beloved leave Peri. Even if an entire army attempted to drag him away to the depths of hell, tear his scales off, hammer nails into his body, and chain him to a wall of fire… He would still crawl back on his hands and knees to find Peri. 

He cast a sorrowful look in Peri’s direction, wishing with all his might that he could take the pain he was feeling and afflict it onto his own body. 

Peri made a sudden jerking movement, sending Beloved into a panic, but he didn’t stir further and continued to sleep.

Was he having nightmares? Was that why his sleep was so fitful? 

Beloved was about to get up when Peri’s eyes snapped open all of a sudden. 

He stared straight at Beloved, not entirely focused. 

The pupils dilated in the darkness, while shimmering flecks of constellations floated around the sea of his irises. 

A sleepy smile stretched across Peri’s face, sending a shiver through Beloved’s body. 

“You’re back…”

His voice was slow and slurred, mirroring that of an intoxicated person, but nothing could conceal the happiness in it. 

Pure joy seemed to drip from the words he spoke. 

Beloved cautiously moved towards Peri, taking his hand and bending over him to get a better look.

His other hand automatically went for Peri’s forehead, checking for signs of a fever, but the skin was ice cold.

Peri’s words had confused him.

Did he think that Beloved had gone somewhere while he was asleep?

“Sanctuary…” Peri called, pausing to cough.

Hearing that name made Beloved’s blood run cold. He stared down at Peri’s serene face, unsure how to proceed. 

“Perianth,” Beloved began uncertainly. “Do you know who I am?”

“Sanctuary,” Peri repeated, unmasked joy shining in his eyes. “You’re back… I thought I’d lost you for good…”

“Look at me, Perianth. Look closely. I’m not Sanctuary.” Beloved attempted to correct Peri, but the younger man wasn’t listening.

He struggled to get up, but Beloved held him down and sat by his side instead.

Peri reached his hands up to tenderly stroke Beloved’s face. He continued to smile softly as he gazed into Beloved’s eyes.

“I’m so relieved… So relieved to see you again,” Peri told him. 

Beloved sat in silence and closed his eyes, letting Peri run his hands all over his face, calloused fingers tracing the outline of his jaw, his nose, his lips.

This hallucination… It had to be a side-effect caused by all those anesthetics they had injected into Peri. 

His milky blue eyes were unfocused, darting left and right across Beloved’s face. Those eyes were trying to find something.

There was a sheen of sweat glistening on his sickly, alabaster skin.

Beloved could feel Peri’s hands trembling, could almost hear the pulse in his wrists. 

“I’m so sorry, Sanctuary…” Peri whispered, disturbing the silence. A small pool of tears had gathered at the corner of each eye, threatening to spill at any second. 

“Why are you apologizing?” Beloved dared to ask.

As if the question had set off a switch, the tears fell from Peri’s eyes, and a strangled sob escaped his bruised lips.

The tears fell down the sides of Peri’s face, dripping into his ears and irritating him. 

He carelessly clawed at his face, trying to relieve himself of the itching sensation. Beloved mistook his action for self-harm and hurried to stop him but Peri moved his hands to grab Beloved’s shoulders.

“Please forgive me,” Peri begged. “Please… Say you forgive me…”

Beloved tried to take Peri’s hands in his own, but the younger man was unmoving. 

He was waiting for “Sanctuary’s” reply, his lower lip trembling and the tears streaming unceasingly. 

If Beloved didn’t play along and act as his dead twin, he had a feeling the consequences would be damaging. 

“Of course I forgive you,” replied Beloved. “But why on earth are you apologizing? Why are you crying?”

Too quickly, another smile blossomed on Peri’s face, but it was more painful than happy. 

His teeth were clenched a little too tightly, lips stretched a little too widely. 

“Because…” Peri gasped, drawing in breath. “Without asking your permission… I fell in love with your brother.”

As soon as he said this, Peri broke down completely. He let go of Beloved and covered his face with his hands as he sobbed, forgetting the painful bruises. The force of his crying was so violent, it shook his slender frame pitifully, and caused vibrations to shake the bed.

“I never intended to hurt your feelings, I swear…”

Saliva dripped out of Peri’s gaping mouth and dribbled down his wobbling chin.

The whole scene was too agonizing to watch, since it was the first time Peri was rendered to such a miserable state. 

Beloved stared at him in shock, failing to notice the tears sliding down his own cheeks.

He wasn’t sure if he himself was crying because Peri was crying so heartbreakingly, or because he had heard Peri confess his love… 

All this time… Peri had been hiding these unspoken feelings within him. 

But for how long? 

Without thinking, Beloved reached down and gathered Peri’s body into his arms. He carefully dodged past the countless tubes that snaked around them and pierced into Peri’s body, and managed to slide his hands over the small of his back. 

Once he was securely in his arms, Beloved allowed himself to let out the breath he had been holding and to let the tears flow freely. 

“It’s alright, my starlight…” Beloved whispered, burrowing his face into Peri’s hair.

The smell of blood, sweat, and medicine mingled together in his nostrils, along with the light scent of laundry detergent. 

“I’m truly sorry, Sanctuary… But… I love him. ” Peri continued to sob. “I’ve never loved anyone so deeply before and… It’s killing me. It’s killing me to keep it hidden, to play with his feelings…” 

“Calm down,” Beloved soothed. He rubbed Peri’s back gently, trying to ease the tension in his body. “It will be alright, just calm down.” 

“Sanctuary, just this once…” Peri pleaded. “Just this once, forgive me… And allow me to break your heart.” 

The same gentle voice spoke into Beloved’s mind again, urging him to hurry and forgive Peri. 

Where had he heard this voice before? 

Why was it so familiar? 

“Perianth,” Beloved murmured. “There is nothing to forgive…” 

But there was no response. 

Only the sound of laborious breaths.

Beloved cast his gaze down to find that Peri had fallen asleep against his chest, his tired face stained with tears. 

The anguish had been replaced by a look of peace now that he had revealed the secrets of his heart.

Laying him back down, Beloved went to fill a bowl with water so he could wash the younger man’s face. 

His hands dipped a small, soft cloth into the warm water and wrung it out, knuckles clenched tightly.

After witnessing such a revelation, he now had to think about what he was going to do.

His mind was muddled, each thought crashing into the other as he wiped at Peri’s face absentmindedly.

Beloved’s hand wavered midway, not noticing the water that dripped onto the sleeping man’s neck. 

There were so many emotions swirling like a frenzied cyclone in his chest.

Happiness.  
Disbelief.  
Regret.  
Grief.

Sitting back in his chair at Peri’s bedside, Beloved held his head in his hands. His head hurt too much to think straight. 

There was nothing that he wasn’t questioning at this very moment. 

Did he have the right to feel happy?

Wasn’t this all he ever wanted, to receive the love of the person most precious to him?

He had certainly received it, even if it was under perplexing circumstances, yet his heart was still troubled. 

There was a possibility that what happened was nothing more than an illusion, nothing more than Peri’s hallucination spinning sweet lies.

With a gloomy sigh, Beloved dropped the wet cloth back in the bowl and settled his chin into his hand, closing his eyes. 

If he was lucky, he would be able to catch a few minutes of sleep.


	6. Fried Chicken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fried chicken, beer, red bean buns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cute moment to cut through all the seriousness ^ ^
> 
> Anyone else wish Beloved could feed them fried chicken...?  
> Just me?  
> Ok...

Peri slept through the entire morning and only awoke late in the afternoon to find that he was alone in the hospital room. 

His eyes scanned his surroundings in a daze, searching for Beloved, but the only sign that the older man had been there was the diminishing smell of musk and amber. 

Peri attempted to sit up, struggling to position his good arm at his side and lift his body up.

Several failed attempts later, he gave up and let his head drop back onto the pillow in defeat. 

Too late he discovered that he could barely lift up his left arm.

Instead of wasting time, he used this rare, quiet moment to study himself. There was an IV hooked up to his arm and what looked like an oxygen mask lying by his pillow. 

Right.

Peri remembered that he had hardly been able to breath when he was hauled into the hospital last night. And from what he had heard the nurses whispering, it was confirmed that his ribcage was possibly missing a few bones here and there. 

In all honesty, he knew he was lucky to be alive, after refusing treatment so vehemently. 

With uncertainty, he brought his hand up to his face, running his fingers over the bandages that covered his wounds and bruises. 

Those were nothing new. It was rare for a day to go by without his face receiving some sort of kaleidoscopic decoration.

If Peri recalled the impact of the crash correctly, then the damage to his face should have been much worse.

Getting out of it with a few bruises and scrapes was surely a blessing from the gods.

As he ran his fingers through his hair, he wondered which god had protected him this time. He seemed to have earned the sympathy of quite a merciful one.

But then again, only Peri’s face had been spared. The rest of him looked like someone had dragged it out from under a lorry.

Oh wait… 

They had. 

A mirthless laugh came from between Peri’s clenched teeth at that realization.

Since when did he need someone to drag him out of situations? 

Pushing that thought out of his mind, he fumbled, feeling around the bedside table for his phone. 

Once he had grabbed it, he hurried to turn it on, only to be greeted with a spectacular crack through the screen and the “low battery” graphic. 

First order of business once he got the hell out of here was to buy a new phone. And maybe invest in a screen protector this time. 

Peri tossed the phone back on the table and settled under the cold, unfamiliar sheets.

His heart ached for his own bedsheets, for the comforting smells of tobacco, laundry powder, and sandalwood. 

Peri closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened them again, he found Beloved standing in the doorframe, radiating a majestic aura, despite his disheveled hair and house slippers. 

Finally, he noticed that Beloved was wearing his favorite black silk pajamas underneath his check Lanvin coat. 

Beloved was holding two, rather heavy looking, convenience store bags in both hands, which he set down on the bedside table. 

“You’re awake.” Beloved stated in surprise. His voice was soft, almost honeyed, yet his expression was distant. 

“Or dead, whichever you want.” Peri shrugged, rolling his eyes. 

He noticed Beloved stiffen, but he smiled at Peri nonetheless. It wasn’t the most honest smile, but it was all he could offer. 

“Would you like to sit up?” Beloved asked as he deposited his leather wallet into his pocket. 

There was something about the way Beloved was speaking so politely that threw Peri off. 

He ignored it.

After some thought, Peri nodded and let Beloved help him up. The older man curled one hand around the back of Peri’s head and the other around his shoulders.

Then, as if lifting a butterfly, Beloved pulled Peri upwards and adjusted the pillows, before gently laying him back. 

Peri nodded his thanks while he watched Beloved unpack the contents of the bags. He first pulled out a can of beer and handed it to Peri, who absently pressed the ice-cold metal against his burning forehead. 

Drinking would have to come later. Right now, the icy relief on his skin was much more welcome.

Beloved revealed a pack of painkillers, two bottles of water, a box of fried chicken, and a plain white bakery box. 

He arranged his purchases neatly on the table, not saying a word as he placed everything in a straight line.

Only once he was done did he ask Peri if he wanted to eat now or later. 

“Now’s fine,” Peri replied, lowering the can. He watched Beloved tear open the lid with graceful fingers and survey the contents before selecting a piece of chicken.

Silently, he held it in front of Peri’s mouth and waited. 

Peri could only stare at him, incredulousness painted on his face. 

His mind echoed the same three distinct words.

What the fuck. 

“Are you going to feed me?” He finally asked once he regained his spirits. 

Beloved hummed in response, still holding the warm piece of fried chicken, and offered him another smile that didn’t meet his eyes.

The minutes continued to tick by, with Peri still staring and Beloved still waiting, until finally Peri had the sense to open his mouth begrudgingly.

In all 22 years of his life, the only person who had ever fed him was Deokhwa. It also didn’t count, because he had been a baby back then, without a mother to help. 

Yet here he was, lying helplessly in a hospital bed, letting his king personally hand-feed him greasy fried chicken from his favorite Korean family restaurant. 

Unconsciously, he opened and closed his mouth on cue, and chewed the crunchy but tender meat in silence. 

It tasted good, exactly like it always had, fried to golden perfection and dipped in buffalo sauce. 

He was on his third piece when, without noticing, Peri’s good hand had grasped onto Beloved’s wrist, pulling it firmly towards his mouth.

His tongue unceremoniously peeked out from between his full lips and gingerly licked at the orange sauce staining Beloved’s pale, thin fingers.

Peri only realized what he was doing when he heard a choked gasp. 

His gaze met Beloved’s, and the look on the older man’s face caused Peri to immediately drop his hand, as if he had been scalded. 

“Sorry…” Peri muttered. “I don’t know what the fuck came over me…”

Beloved didn’t reply, but instead lowered a finger into the box of chicken, and swiped up a bit of sauce. Moving closer to Peri, he held his finger to the younger man’s lips and waited expectantly. 

When Peri didn’t move a muscle, Beloved wiggled his finger between Peri’s lips and nodded, signaling his approval. 

A blush crept up the sides of Peri’s neck as he allowed his coarse tongue to run itself over the skin of Beloved’s finger. 

He wasn’t sure if it was the buffalo sauce or Beloved’s skin that was burning his tongue anymore. All he knew was that he suddenly wanted more, his thoughts spiraling out of control when he felt the older man shiver under his touch. 

Peri pulled Beloved’s hand back in embarrassment and mumbled an apology.

“Can you open this?” Peri asked, holding out the can of beer without looking at Beloved.

The older man wiped the rim of the can with a paper napkin and cracked it open before handing it back to Peri, who chugged it down in one go before slamming it back on the table. 

Some color rose into his face, settling at the very top of his cheeks. 

Beloved watched Peri the whole time while he ate. He only managed to get through one piece of chicken when he found himself reaching for a bottle of water. 

Spicy food didn’t agree with his old-man taste buds.

“I also brought bean buns,” Beloved told Peri, as if he had suddenly remembered. “Do you want some now?”

Peri shook his head distractedly while he nibbled on his lower lip. From the expression on his face, he looked deep in thought over something that seemed to worry him. His brows were furrowed deeply in concentration. 

“Beloved,” he called, staring straight ahead at the stark, white wall. “Did I say something last night? I’m trying to remember, but my mind’s a blank.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a sucker for fashion, so here's a link to the coat that Beloved was wearing:  
> https://koreaboo-cdn.storage.googleapis.com/2016/12/LANVIN-FALL-2016-Collection-Hooded-Check-Coat.png
> 
> (I get most of my fashion inspiration from Goblin the k-drama)


	7. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Great…” Peri sighed, rolling his eyes. “Say it. What bullshit did I spout last night?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to keep it serious, but I couldn't help it... 
> 
> Enjoy!

The water froze in Beloved’s lungs and he choked as it went down the wrong pipe, splashing down the front of his pajama top. 

That was the only response Peri needed.

“Great…” Peri sighed, rolling his eyes. “Say it. What bullshit did I spout last night?”

Beloved momentarily appeared to be too absorbed in wiping the mess he made to answer Peri. When he had finished cleaning up, he met Peri’s eyes nervously. 

“Do you really want to know?” He pressed. His hands were settled in his lap, twisting the fabric of his coat lapel maddeningly. 

“Is there a reason why I wouldn’t want to know?” Peri countered, raising an eyebrow. 

With a resolute sigh, Beloved conceded and repeated the events of the previous night. 

His voice bordered on monotone, but every once in a while, it would grow heavy with emotion, almost as if he was going to break into tears. 

Yet he didn’t.

His face remained dry during the entire recollection, though the same couldn’t be said for his moist, golden eyes that shimmered with unshed tears. 

Peri sat unmoving in bed, holding his breath and not daring to interrupt. 

Only when Beloved had finished did he open his mouth to draw in a mouthful of oxygen. 

“To sum up…” Peri spoke, his voice hoarse. “I thought you were Sanctuary… And I confessed my love for you to him… Is that right?”

When Beloved nodded in agreement, Peri dared to take another breath. 

As calmly as he could muster, Peri unclenched his fists from around the bed sheets and plastered a neutral expression on his otherwise anguished face.

“Could you step out for a moment, please?” he requested of Beloved, refusing to meet his gaze. “Give me five minutes and then you can come back in.”

Without arguing, Beloved let himself out of the room and stood with his back pressed against the door. His fingers rubbed at the silken strands of his flowing hair in an attempt to calm himself down.

There was no noise from within the room, so he could only leave what Peri was doing up to his imagination.

Inside, Peri still sat motionless on the bed. Fresh, hot tears slid down his cheeks and splashed onto the bedsheets. 

He really was… Too cruel. 

Peri attempted to bend over so he could cry freely, but he briefly forgot that his ribs were totaled. The pain, however, successfully reminded him, as it caused him to sit erect, wincing from the needle-sharp pangs in his chest. 

He cried openly, not caring if the sound of his strangled sobs carried out of the room. 

However, he couldn’t understand why he was crying.

What was there to be sad about? 

Wasn’t this what he had wanted from the beginning? To openly declare his love for the person he cared about the most?

So why was it so painful now that he had done it?

“It wasn’t meant to be like this,” he thought to himself, shaking his head sadly. 

There was a part of him, on the other hand, that felt relief. 

Relief that he didn’t have to hide his feelings any longer.

Relief that he didn’t have to feel like he was playing with Beloved’s feelings.

Peri felt so much relief he could almost laugh. 

But instead of laughing, he roughly wiped his tears with his hand as the door began to open. 

Beloved stood in the doorframe again, letting the door slam shut behind him. This time, he didn’t move. His eyes watched Peri carefully, as if weighing whether or not he should approach. 

When Peri held his hand out invitingly, Beloved nearly stumbled in his haste to take it. 

“I suppose I owe you some sort of explanation,” Peri mumbled. “But the thing is, I don’t really know where to begin…” 

Taking a deep breath, Peri clutched Beloved’s hand tightly in his own to give himself comfort. 

“All these years… I thought I was in love with Sanctuary.” Peri began, letting a bitter laugh escape his lips. “I thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. He was everything to me.”

Peri paused to collect his thoughts and phrase his words carefully. He was grateful that Beloved didn’t interrupt him, because he was already struggling greatly with what to say.

“But as time passed, I realized that what I felt for him wasn’t the kind of love everyone thought we had.” he explained. Peri smiled melancholically, seemingly recalling memories from the past. “That love soon turned into a fierce desire to protect him and keep him safe. He was my king, after all… I also realized that my love was now directed at someone else. Someone who dropped from the heavens and painted my world white.”

At this, Peri smiled fondly, his eyes resting on Beloved’s face. 

“He brought sadness and grief and so much hatred with him… I never thought I would find myself feeling something other than disgust towards him.” Peri sighed. “And still I found myself hopelessly drawn to him, like the stars to the moon. But…”

A pregnant pause settled between them, filling the air with heaviness. 

“You thought you were betraying my brother?” Beloved asked quietly. “I don’t understand why, Perianth. If you felt nothing for him, then-“

“It was precisely because I felt nothing for him!” Peri interrupted irritably. “Because I couldn’t reciprocate his honest feelings for me, I felt like I was betraying him. Can you imagine loving someone so earnestly, only to discover that they’re in love with someone else? I didn’t want to be that person, so… I kept my feelings for you a secret.”

“After all these years…” Beloved whispered. 

“It was always you.” Peri growled. “It’s always been you.”

Saying it out loud agitated him, but he had to say it sooner or later.

And Peri chose sooner, because he knew there would probably never be another chance to talk about this. 

“Then… Say it again.”

Peri’s head snapped up in shock. Looking at the endearing expression on Beloved’s face, he didn’t know whether he wanted to laugh or cry. 

“Say what again?” Peri ventured to ask, only because he wasn’t sure which part Beloved wanted him to repeat.

“Say you love me, Perianth…” Beloved murmured, his face suddenly too close to Peri’s for comfort. 

That pouting face was enough to send an electric shock into Peri’s weak heart. 

Such a face… Only a rare few people were immune to its effects.

Peri had been one of those people for precisely 0.002 seconds, before he started to feel his resolve crumble. 

For a few stretched minutes no words came out of Peri’s gaping mouth.

His mind was a turbulent mess of thoughts, none of which he could voice out loud. 

“Suck my dick.” he finally managed to say. His tone was menacing, but not hurtful in the slightest. 

He had only meant it as a teasing comeback to hide the embarrassment that was bubbling up inside him. There was no way he was going to shame himself twice by repeating those three cursed words. 

Beloved stared at him blankly for a moment before he proceeded to toss the bedsheets to the floor.

“What are you doing?!” Peri exclaimed in panic. He let out a yelp when he felt Beloved’s fingers close around the drawstring of his pants, his heart nearly failing him. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Peri hissed angrily. He pressed his hand firmly to Beloved’s chest in a weak attempt to keep him back.

“Exactly what you asked me to do.” replied Beloved innocently. The sparkle in his eyes was anything but innocent, if not short of mischievous. 

“Blinking hell…” Peri muttered, a lovely shade of red flooding into his cheeks. “I didn’t mean it literally, so fuck off!”

In between paroxysms of delighted laughter, Beloved left Peri’s pants in peace and gathered the younger man into his toned arms. 

“Perianth,” he whispered in a honeyed voice. “You have made me the happiest man alive…”

Peri’s breath caught in his throat before he hurriedly cleared it.

“Could something as simple as love from a servant mean so much to you?”

Upon hearing the word “servant”, Beloved’s whole body stiffened, locking Peri in an uncomfortable position.

“You are no servant of mine.” Beloved breathed in a painful tone. Peri could feel the older man’s emotion-filled voice rumble through his chest. “You never were and you never will be.”

“Then… Am I allowed to freely confess my feelings for you, now that I’m sober as fuck?”

“Say it.” Beloved urged, moving their bodies apart. 

“Beloved,” Peri began. He licked his chapped lips nervously, trying to distract and calm himself.

“No,” Beloved interrupted. “Call my real name… Call me what you used to when we were young…”

Peri’s nervousness intensified at Beloved’s ardent request. It had been years since Peri had spoken that name so freely. He felt he lost the right to use it a long time ago. 

But now, studying the fire blazing in Beloved’s golden irises, Peri felt like he could dare to say it.

They belonged to him now, both the name and its bearer.

“A… Ah-Xing.”

“Hm~”

“I want to grow old with you.” Peri whispered, his gaze lowering. 

Beloved’s hands cupped his cheeks suddenly, tilting his head upwards and forcing their eyes to meet. The older man’s teeth snagged on his bottom lip in unabashed expectation.

The silence was obviously making him impatient, but it was tearing Peri’s insides apart. 

They were just three words, right? 

He wasn’t going to spontaneously combust if he said them. 

Nor would his pride be scarred.

Either way, it had never been a matter of pride. He had thrown that away from the moment he became the dragon king’s shield. 

Unblinking, Peri held Beloved’s smoldering gaze as he long as he could, calling on any present god to grant him strength and courage. 

“And… I love you.” Peri finally said. “With my entire heart, mind, and soul.” 

The flush of red in his cheeks deepened to a warmer shade, crawling down his neck and up his ears. 

Those three devastating words…

He had finally spoken them out loud.

The noose around his neck snapped, setting him free.


	8. Bonus: Learning to walk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bonus chapter I wrote to indulge myself & my besu ^ ^

“Slowly now,” Beloved instructed. “Just take your time.”

He stood behind Peri, supporting the younger man’s body with his own. 

Peri leaned back momentarily, feeling fatigued. “Let’s stop now, ok? My legs fucking hurt.”

Beloved gripped Peri’s hands, firmly but gently, in each of his own.

“Just one more time, and then we can take a break.” he promised.

Peri didn’t have the heart to argue, so he let Beloved slowly guide him down the empty corridor of the hospital again.

The pair moved in synch, while Beloved counted each step they took, his breath tickling Peri’s ear.

It was quite early in the morning and the rest of the patients were still asleep. That’s why Beloved had chosen to help Peri practice walking now, without the stares of others. 

They had already done three rounds of the corridor, but the nurses had insisted that Peri try and aim for five. 

His legs weren’t injured too badly, so it wasn’t like he was learning to walk all over again.

Peri wasn’t one to whine and complain about the pain, especially if it wasn’t serious. 

Each step he took, however, felt like a thousand needles stabbing the flesh of his legs. 

That’s why when Beloved noticed that Peri tried to hide his grimace every time he moved, he let Peri lean back against his chest and step on his toes.

“I’m not that light, Beloved. Your feet are gonna end up aching.” Peri argued.

Beloved just smiled, this time sincerely. “As long as it’ll help, then I’m willing to carry you on my back if I have to.”

Peri ducked his head and let his hair fall over his face to hide how red it had become. 

Beloved’s chest radiated quiet warmth onto Peri’s back, comforting him and adding to the heat.

“I can’t wait to get the hell out of here.” Peri sighed, changing the subject. He’d had enough of hospitals to last him a lifetime. There was no way in hell he’d ever let himself end up here again.

“That won’t be anytime soon,” came Beloved’s response. “You broke your ribs and sprained both your arm and leg. Your ribs need at least six weeks to heal.”

“Ex-fucking-cuse me?” Peri spluttered. “Six weeks?! Did you forget I have a job?”

The shock of the news almost made Peri trip onto his face. He stumbled a little and almost fell forward if Beloved had not hurriedly grabbed him around the abdomen 

Peri let out a soft, pained shriek, which made Beloved wince. 

The older man had accidentally knocked his sinewy arm against Peri’s damaged ribs.

“Sorry… It was either that or leave you to break your front teeth.” Beloved mumbled.

“Yeah, thanks for saving my teeth…”

The pair stopped for a minute so that Peri could catch his breath. He stepped down from Beloved’s feet to lean his shoulder against the wall.

“I already spoke with the general yesterday. He’s agreed to have you work from home,” Beloved explained. “Rowen will bring your files in the morning, while either Deokhwa or I take care of you throughout the day.”

Peri didn’t say anything for a few minutes. His face was neutral, not giving his emotions away. 

“I don’t want to be a burden to anyone,” he sighed. “I mean, if I’m allowed to go back home, then why can’t I just go to the station?”

Beloved mimicked his sigh as he knelt down slightly, and wrapped his arms around the back of Peri’s thighs. 

Lifting him up into the air, he began to carry him back to the hospital room. "Keep your knees straight."

“I can walk, you know…” Peri mumbled. In reality, he didn’t want Beloved to put him down. It was just that the position of Beloved’s arms, squeezing against the bottom of his… 

Peri shook his head and quickly banished the shameful thought from his mind. This was not the time to think about such things. 

But… 

It was extremely distracting. 

“You still didn’t answer me.” Peri reminded him. 

“Why you can’t go to the station?” Beloved asked. “Because, darling, you need to rest.”

The “darling” slipped so naturally out of Beloved’s mouth, it caught both of them off guard. 

“Darling, huh?” Peri smirked. 

“It just slipped out.” laughed Beloved. And he loved the way it sounded. 

“Call me that in front of anyone and my finger might just slip too.”

“Oh? And where might it slip off to?” Beloved teased. 

“To find the trigger of my gun, you pervert!”

Once they were back in the room and Peri was safely in bed, the pair shared the bean buns from yesterday. 

The dough was soft and chewy, almost pillow-like in texture, and the filling was sweet.

Beloved sat on the bed, facing Peri. He held the bun in one hand and Peri’s fingers in the other.

“Perianth… Promise me something?”

“Anything.”

“Promise me you won’t ever be careless with your life again.” Beloved murmured. 

Peri swallowed the last bite of his bun and licked the stickiness from his finger in silence. 

“I don’t think I can promise that,” Peri replied truthfully. “Because the nature of my job requires me to be careless. How else can I protect you?”

Beloved slid his hand up Peri’s nape and drew him closer to plant a kiss on his forehead. He remained still for a while, savoring Peri’s skin against his lips. 

“Then promise me you’ll try your best to stay alive. For my sake.”

“I promise… Ah-Xing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this work!
> 
> Please look forward to the next one.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know your thoughts :)  
> I'll update regularly throughout the week.


End file.
